{"id":3112,"date":"2016-03-04T07:36:25","date_gmt":"2016-03-04T07:36:25","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.inspirationalcreatives.com\/podcast\/?p=3112"},"modified":"2016-03-09T15:17:12","modified_gmt":"2016-03-09T15:17:12","slug":"119-michael-bungay-stanier","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.inspirationalcreatives.com\/podcast\/119-michael-bungay-stanier\/","title":{"rendered":"ICP 119 Michael Bungay Stanier on Misery, More Misery, Success and Creating The Coaching Habit"},"content":{"rendered":"<h2><strong>Listen<\/strong><\/h2>\n<div class=\"player_container player-3112\" ><div class=\"spp_player_textabove\"><b>  <\/b><\/div><div id=\"sm2-3112\" class=\"playercontent sm2-bar-ui compact flat full-width full-width-player\"><div class=\"bd sm2-main-controls\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"sm2-inline-element sm2-button-element\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"sm2-button-bd\" style=\"background: transparent url(https:\/\/www.inspirationalcreatives.com\/podcast\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/02\/podcast_channel_artwork-150x150.png) repeat scroll 0% 0% \/ cover ;\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div id=\"spp-player-background\"> <\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<a href=\"#play\" class=\"sm2-inline-button play-pause\"><\/a>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"loader\" style=\"display:none;\"><\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"eq\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"bar bar-1\"><\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"bar bar-2\"><\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"bar bar-3\"><\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"bar bar-4\"><\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div><div class=\"sm2-inline-element sm2-inline-status progressbar\">\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"sm2-button-bd\" style=\"\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"playerpitch0\" style=\"display:none;\">0.75x<\/div>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"playerpitch1\">1x<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"playerpitch2\" style=\"display:none;\">1.25x<\/div>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"playerpitch3\" style=\"display:none;\">1.5x<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"playerpitch4\" style=\"display:none;\">2x<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"sm2-button-bd\" style=\"\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"secrewind\"><\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"sm2-playlist\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"sm2-playlist-target\"><\/div>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"sm2-progress\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"sm2-progress-bd\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"sm2-progress-track\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"sm2-progress-bar1\" style=\"display:none;\"><\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"sm2-progress-bar\"><\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"sm2-progress-ball\"><div class=\"icon-overlay\"><\/div><\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"sm2-row timestamp\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"sm2-inline-time timestamp\">0:00<\/div><div class=\"sm2-inline-duration timestamp\">...<\/div><\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"sm2-inline-element sm2-button-element sm2-volume\" style=\"0\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t   <div class=\"sm2-button-bd\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"sm2-inline-button sm2-volume-control volume-shade\"><\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<a href=\"#volume\" class=\"sm2-inline-button sm2-volume-control\" style=\"\"><\/a>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t   <\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t  <\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"bd sm2-playlist-drawer sm2-element\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"sm2-playlist-wrapper\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<ul class=\"sm2-playlist-bd\"><li><a href=\"http:\/\/traffic.libsyn.com\/inspirationalcreatives\/ICP119-michael-bungay-stanier.mp3\">ICP 119 Michael Bungay Stanier on Misery, More Misery, Success and Creating The Coaching Habit<\/a><\/li><\/ul>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div><div class=\"sppbuttons\" style=\"\"><a class=\"button-itunes\" target=\"_blank\" style=\"\" href=\"https:\/\/itunes.apple.com\/gb\/podcast\/inspirational-creatives-podcast\/id946035760?ls=1\">Apple Podcasts<\/a><a class=\"button-g-play\" target=\"_blank\" style=\"display:none !important;\" href=\"https:\/\/www.google.com\/podcasts?feed=aHR0cDovL3d3dy5pbnNwaXJhdGlvbmFsY3JlYXRpdmVzLmNvbS9wb2RjYXN0L2ZlZWQvcG9kY2FzdA==\">Google Podcasts<\/a><a class=\"button-embed\" rel=\"modal:open\"  id=\"button-embed\" style=\"display:none !important;\" href=\"#ex1\">Player Embed<\/a><a 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href=\"javascript:window.open('http:\/\/traffic.libsyn.com\/inspirationalcreatives\/ICP119-michael-bungay-stanier.mp3','','width=500,height=250')\">Listen in a New Window<\/a><a class=\"button-download\" target=\"_blank\" style=\"display:none !important;\" href=\"http:\/\/traffic.libsyn.com\/inspirationalcreatives\/ICP119-michael-bungay-stanier.mp3\">Download<\/a><a class=\"button-soundcloud\" target=\"_blank\" style=\"display:none !important;\" href=\"\">SoundCloud<\/a><a class=\"button-stitcher\" target=\"_blank\" style=\"display:none !important;\" href=\"https:\/\/www.stitcher.com\/podcast\/inspirational-creatives\">Stitcher<\/a><a class=\"button-sppandroid\" target=\"_blank\" style=\"display:none !important;\" href=\"http:\/\/subscribeonandroid.com\/www.inspirationalcreatives.com\/podcast\/feed\/podcast\">Subscribe on Android<\/a><a class=\"button-spprss\" target=\"_blank\" style=\"display:none !important;\" href=\"http:\/\/www.inspirationalcreatives.com\/podcast\/feed\/podcast\">Subscribe via RSS<\/a><a class=\"button-spotify\" target=\"_blank\" style=\"\" href=\"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/5TkPuSyXjgvvaHoBfyLPGc\">Spotify<\/a><a class=\"spp-button-custom1\" target=\"_blank\" style=\"display:none !important;\" href=\"\"><\/a><a class=\"spp-button-custom2\" target=\"_blank\" style=\"display:none !important;\" href=\"\"><\/a><a class=\"spp-button-custom3\" target=\"_blank\" style=\"display:none !important;\" href=\"\"><\/a><a class=\"spp-button-custom4\" target=\"_blank\" style=\"display:none !important;\" href=\"\"><\/a><a class=\"spp-button-custom5\" target=\"_blank\" style=\"display:none !important;\" href=\"\"><\/a><a class=\"spp-button-custom6\" target=\"_blank\" style=\"display:none !important;\" href=\"\"><\/a><\/div>\n            <div class=\"spp-powered-by\" style=\"font-size:12px; \"><center>Powered by the <a target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/simplepodcastpress.com\/?ref=\">Simple Podcast Press<\/a> Player<\/center><\/div>\n            <\/div>\n<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/traffic.libsyn.com\/inspirationalcreatives\/ICP119-michael-bungay-stanier.mp3\">Right Click Here To Download This Episode Now<\/a><\/p>\n<p><em>Scroll down for detailed episode notes and quick access timings<\/em><\/p>\n<h2><strong>In this episode you&#8217;ll learn:<\/strong><\/h2>\n<ul>\n<li>Why Michael persisted to publish a book he believed in<\/li>\n<li>How power and control work in relationships<\/li>\n<li>What the drama triangle is and the importance of triggers<\/li>\n<li>How Michael built a team to carry him across the line<\/li>\n<li>How the coaching habit will help you to create great work<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/www.inspirationalcreatives.com\/podcast\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/12\/Michael-Bungay-Stanier-432-x-648.png\" alt=\"Michael Bungay Stanier profile picture\" width=\"432\" height=\"648\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-667\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.inspirationalcreatives.com\/podcast\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/12\/Michael-Bungay-Stanier-432-x-648.png 432w, https:\/\/www.inspirationalcreatives.com\/podcast\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/12\/Michael-Bungay-Stanier-432-x-648-200x300.png 200w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 432px) 100vw, 432px\" \/>\n<p><strong>Michael Bungay Stanier\u2019s new book, <em>The Coaching Habit: Say Less, Ask More and Change The Way You Lead Forever<\/em>, almost got abandoned.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s taken Michael three years, four false starts, and a decision to fire his agent to complete.<\/p>\n<p>Yet having reconnected with his vision, remembering who he was writing for, he found himself back on track.<\/p>\n<p>Michael shares his struggles and triumphs whilst revealing his own insights gained writing the book.<\/p>\n<p><!--more-->Hear how Michael and the Box of Crayons team self-published <em>The Coaching Habit<\/em> to great acclaim.<\/p>\n<p>You\u2019ll also hear how the 7 questions in this book could mean working less hard and having more impact.<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>\u201cThe nice thing about writing three or four bad versions of a book is that you start to see what the good version could actually be like\u201d &#8211; Michael Bungay Stanier<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<h2><strong>Items mentioned in this episode (quick access):<\/strong><\/h2>\n<p><strong>Unlocking your own potential<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><span>[00:42]<\/span> Introducing Michael Bungay Stanier and his new book, <em>The Coaching Habit<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p><span>[01:47]<\/span> Who The Coaching Habit is for and what problem it is solving.<\/p>\n<p><span>[03:12]<\/span> Michael offers a definition of coaching.<\/p>\n<p><span>[05:20]<\/span> Why Michael believes people are so quick to offer advice.<\/p>\n<p><span>[06:02]<\/span> Understanding what control is.<\/p>\n<blockquote><p><a href=\"http:\/\/ctt.ec\/csr01\" target=\"_blank\">\u201cWhen you empower somebody&#8230;you\u2019re giving up power so that they can have power\u201d &#8211; Michael Bungay Stanier<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><strong>Prizes and punishments<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><span>[08:02]<\/span> Mark Bowden. Starting small.<\/p>\n<p><span>[09:15]<\/span> What happens when you empower somebody.<\/p>\n<p><span>[10:45]<\/span> Michael shares the challenges he had writing The Coaching Habit.<\/p>\n<p><span>[13:00]<\/span> How Michael\u2019s first four books were relatively easy to write.<\/p>\n<p><span>[13:20]<\/span> <em>Steal Like an Artist<\/em> by Austin Kleon and <em>Rework<\/em> by Jason Fried.<\/p>\n<blockquote><p><a href=\"http:\/\/ctt.ec\/g29az\" target=\"_blank\">\u201cIf you can focus you\u2019ll often have more success\u201d  &#8211; Michael Bungay Stanier<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><strong>Misery, misery, misery, fantastic<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><span>[15:45]<\/span> Hiring great people and building a team around the book.<\/p>\n<p><span>[17:16]<\/span> When Michael reconnected with his vision.<\/p>\n<p><span>[17:48]<\/span> Seth Godin\u2019s book, <em>The Dip<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p><span>[18:47]<\/span> Intrinsic and extrinsic motivation.<\/p>\n<blockquote><p><a href=\"http:\/\/ctt.ec\/UP85z\" target=\"_blank\">\u201cWhat\u2019s the least I could teach here that would be the most useful?\u201d &#8211; Michael Bungay Stanier<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><strong>Say less, ask more great questions<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><span>[19:05]<\/span> Finding great questions.<\/p>\n<p><span>[19:35]<\/span> What elegance means to Michael.<\/p>\n<p><span>[19:50]<\/span> My one best question.<\/p>\n<p><span>[21:00]<\/span> The toughest question to ask: the foundation question.<\/p>\n<p><span>[21:40]<\/span> Peter Block\u2019s book, Flawless Consulting.<\/p>\n<blockquote><p><a href=\"http:\/\/ctt.ec\/9865n\" target=\"_blank\">\u201cIf you don\u2019t understand what triggers you\u2026you can almost never get out of your old habits\u201d &#8211; Michael Bungay Stanier<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><strong>The drama triangle<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><span>[25:00]<\/span> Stephen Karpman.<\/p>\n<p><span>[29:30]<\/span> All models are wrong but some are useful.<\/p>\n<p><span>[29:58]<\/span> How awareness helps.<\/p>\n<p><span>[30:26]<\/span> Charles Duhigg and his book, <em>The Power of Habit<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p><span>[32:15]<\/span> Building a new habit in less than 60 seconds.<\/p>\n<p><span>[32:50]<\/span> The focus question.<\/p>\n<blockquote><p><a href=\"http:\/\/ctt.ec\/7mvf3\" target=\"_blank\">\u201cAll models are wrong but some are useful\u201d &#8211; George Box<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><strong>Leading with curiosity<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><span>[34:09]<\/span> How The Coaching Habit helps managers.<\/p>\n<p><span>[36:15]<\/span> Coaching as a way of being.<\/p>\n<p><span>[37:22]<\/span> Leading with curiosity.<\/p>\n<p><span>[38:56]<\/span> Michael shares his most inspirational moment writing his book.<\/p>\n<p><span>[40:18]<\/span> Working with Seth Godin\u2019s editor, Catherine Oliver.<\/p>\n<p><span>[40:55]<\/span> Why you need to trust professionals.<\/p>\n<blockquote><p><a href=\"http:\/\/ctt.ec\/q53hC\" target=\"_blank\">\u201cCoaching&#8230;is a tool everyone can use\u201d &#8211; Michael Bungay Stanier<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><strong>Professional self publishing<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><span>[42:14]<\/span> The story behind Box of Crayons Press.<\/p>\n<p><span>[43:23]<\/span> Self-publishing versus traditional publishing.<\/p>\n<p><span>[45:02]<\/span> What\u2019s best for Michael and Box of Crayons.<\/p>\n<p><span>[46:17]<\/span> <em>Executive Coaching With Backbone and Heart<\/em> by Mary-Beth O\u2019Neill<\/p>\n<p><span>[47:23]<\/span> Where you can connect with Michael and find his book.<\/p>\n<h2><strong>Links:<\/strong><\/h2>\n<ul>\n<li><a href=\"http:\/\/TheCoachingHabit.com\" target=\"_blank\">The Coaching Habit<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"http:\/\/boxofcrayons.biz\/\" target=\"_blank\">Box of Crayons<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h2><strong>If you enjoyed this podcast, you&#8217;ll also like:<\/strong><\/h2>\n<ul>\n<li><a href=\"http:\/\/www.inspirationalcreatives.com\/podcast\/120-say-less-ask-more-create-impact\/\" target=\"_blank\">How To Gain Respect and Create Greater Impact By Saying Less and Asking More (with Michael Bungay Stanier)<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"http:\/\/www.inspirationalcreatives.com\/podcast\/007-michael-bungay-stanier\/\" target=\"_blank\">Michael Bungay Stanier on Building Lasting Habits (in less than 60 seconds)<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"http:\/\/www.inspirationalcreatives.com\/podcast\/008-focus-on-work-that-matters\/\" target=\"_blank\">How To Focus On The Work That Matters<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h2><strong>Thanks for listening<\/strong><\/h2>\n<p>If you enjoyed the show, please share this episode with someone you know or by leaving your honest review with others on <a href=\"http:\/\/www.inspirationalcreatives.com\/itunes\" target=\"_blank\">iTunes<\/a>. I really appreciate you!<\/p>\n<p>Enjoy the show!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Listen Right Click Here To Download This Episode Now Scroll down for detailed episode notes and quick access timings In this episode you&#8217;ll learn: Why Michael persisted to publish a book he believed in How power and control work in relationships What the drama triangle is and the importance of triggers How Michael built a [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[8,38,4,32,81,35,6,2,23,66,82],"tags":[44,91,24,7,22,25,52,33,53,28,49,54],"class_list":{"0":"post-3112","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","6":"category-creativity","7":"category-entrepreneurs","8":"category-inspirational-creatives","9":"category-mindset","10":"category-mindset-and-motivation","11":"category-motivation","12":"category-podcast","13":"category-podcast-show-notes","14":"category-productivity","15":"category-relationships","16":"category-relationships-and-communication","17":"tag-business","18":"tag-creativity","19":"tag-curiosity","20":"tag-entrepreneur","21":"tag-great-work","22":"tag-habits","23":"tag-leadership","24":"tag-mindset","25":"tag-motivation","26":"tag-overwhelm","27":"tag-planning","28":"tag-relationships"},"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.inspirationalcreatives.com\/podcast\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3112","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.inspirationalcreatives.com\/podcast\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.inspirationalcreatives.com\/podcast\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.inspirationalcreatives.com\/podcast\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.inspirationalcreatives.com\/podcast\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3112"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.inspirationalcreatives.com\/podcast\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3112\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3143,"href":"https:\/\/www.inspirationalcreatives.com\/podcast\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3112\/revisions\/3143"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.inspirationalcreatives.com\/podcast\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3112"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.inspirationalcreatives.com\/podcast\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3112"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.inspirationalcreatives.com\/podcast\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3112"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}